Please note that I write for Sensitive People only and if this is a first time you are reading my post and don’t know if you are sensitive or not-You can find out by clicking on the link below .

If you are on Spiritual path ,then definitely you are a Sensitive Person.

https://www.smitaskapoor.com/is-this-you

 

man in pain

I was 18 year old, thoroughly pampered,  much wanted only daughter  of the family after 3 sons.

My first brush with pain was, when I lost my mother to death. She had met with a car accident and survived for one month  in hospital and then one day  finally succumbed to her injuries.

During the entire month she was in hospital none of us suspected that we would lose her but we did lose her.

I was devastated, heart broken , completely lost and Pain is a very small word for what I felt.

It was very difficult to accept the fact that she was gone. I realized how much I loved her  not only as a mother but she was my best friend, who understood me without my speaking a word. She made my world secured.

That was the time I saw what people are really and their true self. There were people around me who were very loving, when my mother was alive. Those were the same people who turned nasty once she was gone. (These people have a name- Relatives 🙂 )

I guess when life decides to test your strength, it really tests you from every corner.

I felt vulnerable , insecure and the hurt and pain  seemed to be beyond endurance.

I went through every emotion-

I was angry at God, I blasted at him for taking my mother away. I Kept asking him”Why?” but…

Months passed but pain did not dim. I could not accept the fact that I could not see her or talk to her.

If you have lost someone in life or death, you know what I am talking about.

Then I was invited by my youngest Aunt ( My mother’s youngest sister) Kamal Seth to  stay with her at her home  in Shahjahanpur.

At the time when I was going through intense pain , she came in my life as a balm to that pain.

She was the first one who invited me to talk about my mom and the pain I was feeling. She listened to me without saying anything that day.

Next day she asked me to accompany her to the market to do some shopping. On our way to the market She asked me to watch the kids from Slum, playing in mud and  in  pathetic conditions.

What she said to me next transformed my life completely-

She told me to compare my life with those kids.

She further said- “I know you have lost your mom whom you loved very much and the pain you feel. I further know that what people did to you was not right, they were insensitive and cruel and did not even think that what it would do to you.

But ,I want you to think about  how blessed you are that you have such a loving father and brothers. Your father has lost his wife of 25 years but still trying to take care of you all. You have known your mother’s love but some of these kids and so many kids around the world do not even know what mother’s love is.”

She asked me another question: “You know how much your mother loved and dotted on you. Do you think She would be happy seeing her dearest daughter in so much pain and distress?

  • Her words hit me like a ton of brick and I understood the power of blessing that day.
  • I was looking at all the things I had lost rather than looking at all the things which I had.
  • My focus was on the pain I had rather than the beautiful memories shared together.
  • It was me who had decided that she was dead by focusing on her being gone.
  • It was me who could keep her alive in my life by remembering what she was and the love between us.
  • I realized how blessed I was to have my father and elder brothers who loved me as compared to so many kids who did not even  know,what love was.

 

What is suffering?

When your pain is allowed to persist over a longer period of time it becomes suffering.

If you are expecting your life to be pain free it’s not possible.

Since then, Pain just  loves me and has come to me in different forms but  I have chosen not to suffer!

What’s your choice?